To My Baby

I am so excited to meet you. I cannot believe that I get to be your mother and I can't tell you how much I look forward to seeing all the amazing things you accomplish in your life. I find myself distracted a lot, always thinking about you. I wonder what you'll look like, if you'll have my nose or your dad's or a mix of the two. I wonder what your coloring will be, if my fair skin or your dad's olive will win out in the end. I wonder what your laugh will sound like, and what things will make you giggle. I wonder what will make you stare in wonder, and what will make you happy. I wonder who you will grow up to become. I wonder if I'll be able to help you there.

Often, I wonder if I'll be good enough or if I'm ready. Usually, those are days where I don't get enough sleep and the anxiety spikes. I find myself looking around our little one-bedroom apartment thinking that there's no way we'll have a two-bedroom and a place for your things by the time you get here. But honestly, that's not the most important thing. Things will work out more perfectly than I can plan them, even if I don't feel so at the time.

I can't wait to meet you, baby girl. Already I love you so much and I marvel at what you can do. Technically, you would be able to survive outside of me as of this week. I'd honestly prefer you come when you're scheduled, but it's comforting to know that you are grown and developed enough to make it out here in the world. It's amazing to me that I love you and want the best for you, and I haven't even met you face to face yet. If I love you this much already, I am excited to see how that love grows when you get here.

Love,
Mom