Truly the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the music, the smells, sights, and sounds. I love spending time with family and eating delicious food. And I love how everyone becomes a better person during the season. There is something about celebrating the birth of our Savior that makes everyone a little more Christlike during the month of December.

People are focused outward more than they are the rest of the year, and everyone is happier because they're giving and looking to make another person happy. There's something magical about that.

I fell more in love with Cameron last Christmas than I had fallen for anyone before. Cameron knows how to Christmas. He still gets as excited as a child for the holiday, but it's because he can't wait for you to unwrap what he got for you. He can't wait to see how you respond to the thought and care he put into the gift. Last year he built be a bookshelf and gave me The Little Prince to put on it. When I went home that night I told my mom that if he asked me to marry him that day I would say yes in a heartbeat. I still said yes in a heartbeat a few months later.

This Christmas I've found myself falling even further in love with him. He has been so thoughtful and considerate (which I know isn't always easy to do with a pregnant woman), and he gets a sparkle in his eye every time he mentions the presents that are sitting under the tree, waiting to be unwrapped on Christmas morning. I know I'll continue to fall a little more in love with Cameron every day, but it's fun to see how that accelerates during December. Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year.

To My Baby

I am so excited to meet you. I cannot believe that I get to be your mother and I can't tell you how much I look forward to seeing all the amazing things you accomplish in your life. I find myself distracted a lot, always thinking about you. I wonder what you'll look like, if you'll have my nose or your dad's or a mix of the two. I wonder what your coloring will be, if my fair skin or your dad's olive will win out in the end. I wonder what your laugh will sound like, and what things will make you giggle. I wonder what will make you stare in wonder, and what will make you happy. I wonder who you will grow up to become. I wonder if I'll be able to help you there.

Often, I wonder if I'll be good enough or if I'm ready. Usually, those are days where I don't get enough sleep and the anxiety spikes. I find myself looking around our little one-bedroom apartment thinking that there's no way we'll have a two-bedroom and a place for your things by the time you get here. But honestly, that's not the most important thing. Things will work out more perfectly than I can plan them, even if I don't feel so at the time.

I can't wait to meet you, baby girl. Already I love you so much and I marvel at what you can do. Technically, you would be able to survive outside of me as of this week. I'd honestly prefer you come when you're scheduled, but it's comforting to know that you are grown and developed enough to make it out here in the world. It's amazing to me that I love you and want the best for you, and I haven't even met you face to face yet. If I love you this much already, I am excited to see how that love grows when you get here.

Love,
Mom